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Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton
The other day, I was browsing at Borders for an inspiring book to write my last book report on for a class, and a particular title caught my eye: Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers. Written by Lois P. Frankel, president of a consulting firm that specializes in leadership development, the book contains many useful hints for women to put aside "being a girl" and becoming a more powerful woman, and therefore an asset to their companies. Already halfway through the instructive & inspirational read, there was one theme and fact that really surprised me: even in this advanced age of modernity, there is still a glass ceiling that women must break through in order to be as successful as they want to be.
According to Frankel, "women still earn only 72% of the salaries earned by their male counterparts ...and are more likely to be overlooked for promotions to senior levels of their organizations." I feel incredibly naive for believing that the idea of women as less valuable to firms than men was either a thing of the past or at the very most, an antiquated idea only existing in less advanced rural areas. However, this is incredibly untrue.
In an age where men think it is socially acceptable for a woman to ask them on a date, many male employers don't find it within acceptable limits for a woman to ask for a raise. Modern men believe it is ok to loosen up on chivalrous acts, however when a woman takes charge, she is called a bitch. Men want to make more money than their counterparts of both sexes but call women who are attracted to successful (and therefore often wealthy) men gold diggers.
The battle of the sexes is nothing new, but it seems to have taken on a fresh angle. Yes, things have changed. Women have advanced far beyond the kitchen, although I have to give housewives credit for all of the work they do as well. There are many more opportunities, employment or otherwise, for women than there were even 50 years ago. For that, I am thankful. But, when it comes to an employer interviewing for a job, will they pick the more experienced, but fat girl, or the less accomplished skinny girl with a charming smile? Both of us know it is the latter, because if it weren't, dietitians would be out of business. It's more difficult to be job-searching female: not only do you have to be smart, but you also have to be pretty, charming, socially adept...the list goes on and on. When you think of a male CEO, though, I bet you picture a fat guy smoking a cigar who spends his day ordering people around.
So, what should women think of all of this inevitable inequality? I'm not exactly sure what to tell my gender; I definitely would not label myself 'feminist' in any sense of the word. (Quick side story: when taking stagecraft in high school, I actually did employ the phrase "I am weak and female!" to trick guys into carrying heavy things for me. No worries, though, I was a pro with the power drill & nail gun.)
But, all joking aside, here is the conclusion I draw: If men want to underestimate me, then by all means, that's their prerogative. I cannot change how people think, but what I can do - and do well - is prove my value and exceptional capabilities over and over again, despite obstacles. It will make me stronger as a person as well as employee. When it is time for my raise, I won't be afraid to not only ask for but also demand what I deserve. No matter what roadblocks there are, gender-related or otherwise, one must always overcome in order to excel, and I am unafraid of hard work, innovation, and, subsequently, success.
No matter where you go, as a woman, there will always be people with preconceived notions who stand in your way. I believe that Frankel is onto something, in encouraging women to avoid being seen as the office doormat or corporate housewife. However, I differ on one point: I am willing to let them think I am just a little girl. It's much more fun when they are surprised that little girls are capable of big accomplishments. The glass ceiling may be still in existence, but it's nothing that a smart, strong-willed female can't shatter with a well-placed kick by a Manolo-stiletto-clad foot.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill
Growing up, my parents encouraged me to become involved in as many activities as possible. However, they gave me one caveat: Once I chose to start something, I was never allowed to quit until the season or year was over.
When I was a feisty tomboy who wanted to grow up to be just like her older brother, it was sports for me: figure skating, Little League baseball and later softball. Once I got to middle school, my creativity and obsessive organization guided my extracurricular choices: Student Council secretary, yearbook, literary magazine, drama club, and several academic competition teams. After that, the second I set foot in high school and joined a class of over 800, I was determined to find my niche. Between being a member of varsity speech team, serving on Student Council executive board, being selected as a managing editor of the newspaper, acting in several plays, and being picked to co-chair for the National Honor Society's Riley Children's Hospital fundraising concert, I probably spent more time at North Central than I did at home.
However, after graduating high school, I wanted to go somewhere bigger. 800 seemed like a small number to me, and so I came to Indiana University, where the student population as a whole was about 40,000. Students from all 50 states, and according to various campus websites, over 130 countries, inhabit this beautiful campus and attend classes in the same buildings, walk down the same paths, and visit the same hangouts as I do. And I was determined to find my way and get to know as many of them as possible.
Sorority rush was not a choice to me. My high school had had a sorority, and despite its questionable reputation, I was jealous of the bond that the girls had shared. Right away, I signed up for the intensive recruitment process, visiting all 19 on-campus sorority houses. I braved the cold outdoors for two days, in between each house checking my makeup in my mirror to make sure my eyeliner hadn't smeared, that my ponytail was as perky as my personality, and that my smile was just as white as it had been at the last chapter. When I returned early from winter break & received a list of houses that had chosen to invite me back, I went through the same process again and again, narrowing the field of possibilities, until finally I found the perfect fit. I was incredibly lucky, because the perfect fit also found me.
Sigma Delta Tau has been one of the greatest and yet often most trying experiences of my life. It soon became more than a social activity to me, throughout pledgeship I formed a bond with girls I probably would never have known without the house. Living (and sleeping in) the same room with about 80 other girls has filled my time here at IU with more wonderful experiences than one can hope to get in a lifetime: getting together to write a pledge class song, putting on skits for one another, painting sidewalks of fraternities for homecoming & Little 500, attempting intramural sports, late nights spent talking when we were supposed to be studying, watching Gossip Girl or Grey's Anatomy on the big red couch, Jiffy Treet runs when we can't fight those late-night ice cream cravings. Hand in hand with the great memories are also the not-as-wonderful ones: elections at chapter that seem unbearably long, gossip and secrets traded between sisters that hurt (but are meaningless a week later), ever-changing friendships, and mandatory events that happen to go late the night before a big test. Never before had I ever wanted to be a part of something...that at times, I also just wanted to quit. And every time I called up my mom jubilant over being elected fundraising chair or excited for a formal, there was also a time I called her crying over catty, unnecessary drama.
Don't get me wrong - these girls are amazing. But put 80 women together in one house, and you will understand my point. So, despite being in the house, I needed to find something else, beyond the norm, to feel truly comfortable. I wanted something of my own to help me find peace when I could not handle my day - sorority-induced drama or otherwise. And that is how I discovered cycling.
I'm in no way a great cyclist. My friend Mike calls me 'Lance Armstrong with a ponytail,' but don't believe him, my ITTs are far from impressive, and half the time I ride with him, I end up too out of breath to actually be able to ask him to slow down. But on a campus that looks forward every year to the Little 500 cycling race, which, despite the name, is in no way a small occurrence, I love the time I spend on two wheels, speeding down a street, up a hill, or around the track. Less than 1% of the student body even rides in Little 500, so it has been an honor to even train for it. Every time I am stressed out, overwhelmed, disappointed, or confused, I can find solace on my bike. Even after my 28 year old cousin unexpectedly passed away last February, when I didn't want to get out of bed to drag myself to class, I made sure to show up to track times to complete my Little 500 rookie hours. After my boyfriend of eight months dumped me finals week last semester, I logged a lot of hours at the gym on the stationary bike, and I credit my phenomenal finals test grades to working through my confusion and anger on the bike. Yet biking is not reserved solely for sad times, I am an enthusiastic and energetic co-ed, and sometimes I need somewhere to expend my energy. It's fun to discover new trails around Bloomington, to try to beat my last time up Boltinghouse Hill, and to enjoy an afternoon outside biking with friends. I have gotten to know many riders and feel a part of an acitivity that is integral to this campus's culture.
With the Little 500 race less than a month off, I'm not sure if I will be selected to be one of the final members on my sorority's team of 4. But I am sure that I will always have cycling in my life. It has helped me help myself and also given me a great amount of joy. Through it, I have been able to center and balance in order to make the sorority house a real home, work through my problems, celebrate my success, and comfort my sorrows. It's crazy to imagine that a simple hunk of titanium and rubber is what persuades me to never quit or despair. Yet, when I think about it, cycling actually encourages me to find the strength within myself, so that no matter what happens, I can tell myself to not give up.
